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Monday, January 30, 2012

Plus ca change...

On a recent school holiday, we took our friend and her seven year old son to the Museum of the Moving Image in Queens. This place is all kinds of awesome and we went mainly to worship at the shrine of Jim Henson. The horror obsessed boy had other ideas (telling us in no uncertain terms that the Muppets were a big waste of time) and wanted to see only the head spinning puppet they used in The Exorcist.

(A brief note about our friend's son: when we say horror obsessed, we mean obsessed. We've had to field more questions about the origins of Freddy Krueger than anyone on this earth aside from Wes Craven. But, we love the kid. He's lots of fun.)

Right next to the Exorcist puppet, (and lucky for us since we were there for a while) there was a display about Thomas Edison and his kinetescope films.

Now, I know it is a pastime for the old and sort of old alike to decry the state of entertainment that the youths of today enjoy. I mean, look at the internet! Countless hours wasted on pointless diversions, like stupid cat videos, like this one:


Sixty million people have watched this. My favorite sitcom was put on hiatus because it can't draw more than 4 million people a week. If only those troglodytes could learn to appreciate smarter humor, like back in Edison's day, when everyone wore a dinner jacket and dress pants to go to work at the factory.

(You know where this is heading, don't you?)

Presenting, one of the very first movies ever made! Shot by Edison himself at the Black Maria studios!


Yes, the one of the very first things ever committed to film was a stupid cat video.

Just give Transformers 3 an Oscar and let me go back to watching Wipeout.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Eighties Radio

 Oooh, I love that Billy Joel! "Uptown girl..."

Ah, the Big 80's sound! Takes me back to those awkward dances in junior high where you wanted to touch a girl, but were too scared to try too cool to bother.

Local station WPLJ has had an 80's themed Saturday night since I moved to New York. While waiting for My Lovely Wife in the supermarket parking lot, I tuned in. What was playing?

If you're blue and you don't know where to go to...

Taco? Puttin' on the Ritz? I LOVE THIS SONG! Car dance party! I had this on a K-Tel collection (on vinyl!) back in the day!

After an exhausting 90 seconds of seated rocking, the ads came on. 

"Wow, that all natural remedy you told me about REALLY helped with my menopause hot flashes!"

Really? I'm in that demographic? Why not throw in a few ads for Depends while you're at it?

After the break, Springsteen came on. It was Cover Me, from the Born in the USA album. Sang along for a few bars, remembering that this was playing at one of those awkward junior high dances, when it hit me. 

This song is 28 years old.

Some one born the year this song came out could now be hipster douchebag in Brooklyn, ironically Occupying Wall Street. (Can bongo drumming have air quotes?)

You know what? I'm feeling a little down right now. How about some music from They Might Be Giants to lighten the mood?

Fuck it. I'm done. Where's my Jack Daniels?

Saturday, January 7, 2012

The Devil Inside



So, watching TV tonight (Yay New Year's resolutions!) and saw an ad for The Devil Inside. This is the latest crappy horror movie to use fake "found footage." (So if you needed another reason to dislike the overrated Blair Witch Project, there you go.)

I have no desire to see the movie, but what caught my eye was the declaration in the ad that The Vatican does not want you to see this movie! 

Yeah, because it's awful.

I wish that the Catholic church would show an iota of humor and self awareness and issue a statement like this:

"The Vatican wishes, in no uncertain terms, to condemn the movie The Devil Inside. Our reasoning has nothing to do with any reasons related to Catholic dogma. Rather, it is an appalling cinematic abortion. (And you know how we feel about abortions!) Really, spend your $13 on tequila or something. (No, it's cool! Water into wine and all that. Just say a rosary afterwards) Anything. Just save your money and give us a little bit as a thank you for steering you clear. (No? Can't fault a guy for trying.)"