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Tuesday, September 27, 2011

The Death of a Dream

As you know, my love of Wipeout is matched only by my love of my wife and Cool Ranch Doritos.

Sorry Country, Mom, and apple pie...

So you can imagine my happiness when Tru TV started showing old episodes of Wipeout on Friday nights. As I sat, happily watching the chaos with my Tylenol margarita, I felt a twinge. My broken elbow was sore and I had to readjust the pillow it was resting on. Then, after watching a geeky dude faceplant on a platform off a rope swing and a professional stunt lady bounce off the big red balls, I felt another twinge. 

In your spine, right? You felt the twinge in your spine! NOPE!

This time in my heart. :( Sigh....

You see, I have always dreamed of being on a game show. In high school, I was on Reach for the Top on local TV. This is a Canadian general knowledge quiz show for students, which probably should have been called Virgin Nerd Alert. I've taken the online test for Jeopardy a few times, even getting to an interview, but I haven't made it to the show. I tried out for ESPN's Stump the Schwab,as well as a science game show, and no luck on those.

But Wipeout... You have to be enthusiastic, say "Wooo!" and fall down in a dynamic way. I can do this! 

But, cruel irony, my ability to fall spectacularly has now cost me a chance to be on the show. Even after my elbow heals all the way, I can't imagine slamming it off of the platforms and obstacles of the Wipeout Zone. I can't even roll over on it in bed to hit the snooze button. How am I going to get past the sweeper arms? The time has now come to put away childish things, etc.

This is exactly what Martin Luther King was talking about when he wrote about a dream deferred! (Because I am just like MLK. Aside from being white. And never discriminated against . And never getting arrested for my beliefs. And never being spied on by the government and assassinated. Aside from all that, not getting to be on Wipeout is EXACTLY like the March on Washington. Exactly.)

Like the former little league star, sitting on his porch and sipping a beer while thinking about what might have been had the scouts only seen his game winning double in high school, I will watch each face plant and think...what if?

What if? Wipeout. What if?  SIGH..... :(   Oh , Wipeout, what we could have done.
I would bounce off those balls and laugh my ass off at home watching myself later. But it's not meant to be.

That could have been me!

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